My next appointment:
Today I had an
appointment with the principal psychotherapist. I was terrified so I
wrote down what I wanted to say because I knew my mind would turn to
mush. I was scared that the therapist would be annoyed that she had
to read something but, it went remarkably well! She was happy to read
it and said how thorough I was! She understood that I was anxious
about going into another group but explained what it would be like in
her department....
I would see her once a month to build some trust
between us and form some kind of relationship. She would prepare me
for joining the group. There would be a maximum of eight people - so
wouldn't be so daunting. They select people for the groups according
to whether they think it would be the right "fit" so it
isn't as simple as the next person on the waiting list joins. If it
turns out that I fit into another therapist's group then the same
process applies. I will get to know the therapist before joining the
group. It would be long term - 3 years in the group. There is no
pressure on me to do group therapy if I don't want to so I have been
put on the waiting list ,but I can change my mind at any time. I
think I will see her once a month and see how it goes. See if I can
maybe trust her a bit. I haven't processed it properly yet but she
was a really nice, understanding lady. Still not sure about the group
thing but we'll see....
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