Day 31:

Goodbye:

So, here it is, the final day. What better way to end than on my son's 18th birthday. A milestone for him and me too. He has become an adult and maybe one day, I will become one too!! 

It's been quite a "journey" for me, a mixture of feelings and emotions. Fear mostly! Fear of being judged or not saying the right thing, the usual craziness inside my head.

I hope I have helped a few people to understand what BPD is and how it affects the lives of people like myself. How it cripples you, controls you and becomes who you are.

I started to write when I found out it was BPD awareness month. It was like my mind gave me "permission" to do it. That's the only way I can describe it. There was a purpose behind it, a valid reason if you like. I was still scared of being judged but my need to tell people about it, outweighed that. I hope that people will not be too quick to judge other people who may be a little bit different. Who may not fit in or have some kind of strange quirk or odd behaviour. No-one knows their back story. No-one knows what they have been through and indeed will never know unless you give them a bit of your time or simply a kind word. Be aware of someone else's pain. HEAR WHAT THEY'RE NOT SAYING!

Thank you to the people that have read my posts and have liked or commented on them. Especially the people I have mentioned before:

Heather Johns, Rosina Bailey, Denise Drammis, Ian Johns, Jeanette Hart, Mike Evans and Julie Nogales ( day 30) . I have also had some kind words from a few family members that I am not usually in touch with. Thank you to them too. Of course, my children deserve the most thanks. For being there, seeing it first hand, but loving me regardless. No doubt I will continue to struggle with life but I will still try to fight on. I hope I will be brave enough to comment on other people's posts sometimes or just say hello. Maybe i will fade back into obscurity, who knows.........