The Therapist
Because of the
fragility and vulnerability of a borderline, a good therapist is
vital. Some can do more harm than good and the therapist's behaviour
can be destructive if the patient doesn't feel trust, feels rejected
or does not feel safe. Remember, a borderline is constantly scanning
another person for signs of rejection so, if a therapist just looks
at their watch or a clock on the wall, this can trigger all kinds of
emotions within the patient.
BPD patients are
said to be one of the most challenging types of patient to treat. It
is also emotionally draining for the therapist and they often dread
or even refuse to treat someone with BPD. This is because BPD is much
deeper in the very being of the person than any other mental illness.
Borderlines test the skills of even the most experienced therapists.
A BPD patient is almost always in crisis so it is difficult to get to
other, deeper issues. Many BPD patients are outwardly angry or
agressive which can frighten the therapist. Equally they can be
frustrated by someone like me who is quiet and reluctant to talk. You
are made to feel you have to prove how sick you are. You feel that
the therapist is angry with you, disappointed or even disgusted by
you. When a patient doesn't get better despite the therapist's
efforts, patients may often be blamed for the lack of progress. If
you can't talk, can't "participate", you are blamed. The
greatest sin the patient can commit is poor response to treatment. So
the therapist may blame the patient rather than admit that the
treatment isn't working. Then they may be labelled as difficult,
manipulative, a nuisance, dangerous etc etc which can make the
patient even more traumatised. Because of all of these factors,
patients are often written off with no appropriate treatment which
leads to continued deterioration and even suicide.
I must point out
that there are probably lots of therapists who are capable,
professional and able to provide good treatment and this is just my
experience. No therapists were harmed in the making of these
statements!!.....
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